life is a dance floor 💃

on taking risks and getting back on it ⌇ mars cazimi 🌶️

Happy Monday! It is pouring rain outside — my favorite time to write. I’m sitting here, music blasting, reflecting on the incredible weekend I just had. How I put myself out there, for the first time in a very long time, and got my fire back.

On November 18, we had our long-awaited Mars Cazimi. Mars is our planet of action, passion and initiative. It rules drive — physical or otherwise. ;)¹

When there’s a Mars Cazimi — which is when Mars enters the “heart of the Sun” — it’s like a cosmic reset for our drive and motivation ☄️

Do you know what you want out of life? Are you ready to go after it?

Especially in the sign of Scorpio, where Mars feels so at home, you might’ve felt a surge of clarity over what you really want out of life.

It’s like your deepest, darkest desires were cracked open, and you finally found the courage to peer into the abyss and say: “Ohhhhh. THAT’s what I want. And I’m allowed to have it?”

Yes, my love. Yes, you are ❤️‍🔥

A cazimi kickstarts another 2 year cycle for Mars. It’s like he goes through a rebirth during this time. I’m still new to working with the planets, but I believe paying homage to Mars at this time can be fundamentally simple:

Find what you love, and go after it.

theasianastrologer

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The lights burn low. I am standing on the edge of the dance floor, the music like a living thing: the crash of cymbals, the bright brass of the trumpet. I feel it in every part of me, pulsing, urging me to move. All around me, dancers leap and kick and twirl. It is like watching a language without words — and wishing, desperately, that I knew how to speak it.

“Would you like to dance?” A man materializes next to me, forehead slick with sweat. His hand hovers in the space between us, outstretched.

“Yes,” I say brightly, placing my hand in his. We make our way onto the dance floor.

He is an enthusiastic dancer — all spins and turns. I try my best to keep up, masking my obvious lack of competence with lots of smiles and giggles. At the very least, he will walk away feeling like the most charming dancer on the floor.

When the music ends, he can’t get away from me fast enough. “Thank you,” I say to his retreating back, my heart falling into the pit in my stomach. Not for the first time, I ask myself:

“Why was I so eager to come back? Why not wait until I was better, until I’d had a proper lesson under my belt, or at least, NOT join an international swing festival 3 weeks into my new hobby…?” 🫣

I went for my first swing dancing event on the Full Moon in Taurus, 3 weeks ago. Since then, I’ve been to a total of one more.

Tonight, I was at my third one ever because my best friends were performing. They’d been perfecting their routines for months, all in preparation for the big competition that would take place at KL Swing Fest 2023: a weekend-long swing dancing festival that drew seasoned dancers from all over the region.

I showed up on Friday night — the day before the Mars cazimi — with bells on.

I was in full “show mom” mode. Ready to bear witness. To cheer them on.

I didn’t expect to fall so firmly in love with the scene, too.

The atmosphere was electric. I met people who’d been dancing for decades. A jovial bearded Korean man told me he'd been dancing since 2007. Another woman from San Francisco, since 2008 — it was her “non-negotiable” date night with her husband. They were both here for their 3rd social in Malaysia. She looked at me, eyebrows raised, when I told her it was my 3rd social ever.

"That’s incredibly brave,” she said, impressed. We shared a dance together. Later that night, her husband approached me during the blues social.

“My wife says you’re a beginner,” he said with a grin. He twirled me slowly around the dance floor, at a speed I could keep up in. It was moments of sheer kindness like this that made me feel like I could belong here.

That it wasn’t total madness to sign up for the Black Diamond of social dancing while I was still on the bunny slopes.

That’s the influence of Mars — when you find something you love, you go after it. And I put myself so firmly out of my comfort zone this past weekend, I now feel like I can do anything. Mars cazimi in action.

Not many people know this, but I grew up doing Latin dance. 💃

It was easily one of the most traumatic experiences I’d had in girlhood.

My mom sent me there every Sunday to “maintain my figure”. Why she felt the need to do that while I was a teenager, I have no idea. But it planted the seed of my body dysmorphia: Fluorescent lighting and cheap floors and those horrible, horrible full-length mirror walls.

I hated seeing myself in the reflection, hated comparing myself to all the other tall, svelt, graceful girls. We didn’t even do partner dancing! Didn’t feel the music. Just stood in a line and drilled 8-step counts, cha-cha-cha, getting yelled at when our turns weren’t clean enough or our arms weren’t sharp.

I did this for years. It drained all the joy I’d ever felt about dance.

I guess the one saving grace is that Latin has given me a pretty solid foundation for swing dancing.

Swing dancing is about improvisation. Flexibility. Having fun. The music is all jazz and crescendo and bright, brassy notes. The people are friendly, kind, and for the most part, extremely forgiving. The total opposite of what I’d experienced all those years in class.

On the dance floor at an international swing festival, I felt the joy of dance slowly flooding back. It filled me up. It reminded me of an essential part of being human: it’s fun to move. It’s alright to try something new.

And most important of all,

Life is a dance floor. You can stay on the sidelines. Or you can jump right in. ✷

The next morning, I bounded out of bed, feeling more energized than I had in a long time. I forgot how much else my soul needed to feel fully nourished. Sleep and rest wasn’t enough. It needed joy, too.

That’s when I felt the desire, brewing deep in my gut:

I wanted to go back that night.

Tickets had been sold out for months. For all intents and purposes, there was no way for me to return. In fact, I’d only gotten in that first night because of my friends’ performances.

But I remembered: it was the day of the Mars cazimi.

When you go after what you desire, the Universe conspires to give it to you ☄️

That night, I dressed up as though I would be going to the party. I kept my intentions set, and my heart open. I wore the wristband from the night before around like a talisman.

I messaged my friend that I was going to come anyway. I figured, even if they turned me away at the door, that would be okay. Because at least I would’ve tried.

I was sitting in a Burger King drive-thru when their reply came through:

“The organizers made a concession for you. Pay at the door!”

I nearly spilled my burger and fries in shock. I DID IT. 🤯

Mars rewards drastic action. I will remember that for the rest of my life.

I went on to have an incredible night. Of course, there was awkward shuffling. A little feeling out of place. But overall, I felt so lucky to be there. To bask in the music and the atmosphere. Letting the music seep into my bones, that familiar urge to move. That burning desire to learn this language with no words.

To turn to any stranger, slick and sweaty and high from the dance floor, and ask: “what brings you here?” —

— I’d say, “oh, me? It was a gift from Mars.” ✷

Tell me: When was the last time you took a risk for what you love? When you went out on a limb for something you wanted? When was the last time you felt spurred by desire² — the same way Mars is driven by passion and ambition?

We have Sagittarius season coming up this Wednesday — and we’re about to dive into the deep end of fun. If you’ve been feeling stuck in a rut, this is the perfect week to break out of it. 🏹

See you on the dance floor,

Gwen x

1. if you’ve been lacking a sense of direction or motivation, it might be your natal Mars 🌝 (we can chat more about this in a 1:1 reading!).

2. i made a guided meditation on desire for the Scorpio New Moon that is just as potent for this Mars cazimi. we’re still feeling the energy ‘til Mars shifts into Sagittarius this Friday. so check it out and let me know how it goes 〰️