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writing what I want to write 💋 + NEW MOON IN VIRGO RITUAL
⋇⋆✦ SCROLL DOWN FOR A SPECIAL NEW MOON IN VIRGO RITUAL ✦⋆⋇
The words have felt stuck for a while now, like water dribbling slowly out of a rusty old pipe. I could feel the moment they came back; it felt like a dam breaking — I am standing dirty, unshowered, squinting into my laptop without my spectacles on in a bid to get all of them down in time.
We are currently at 160 of us (oops, 158 — it seems two people unsubscribed after my most recent TMI-sharing) here on this Substack. 158 people who care enough about my words to be here. Most days, this feels like an unimaginable blessing . . . but lately, as retrograde season drones on and everything feels sluggish and slow and I just want to curl up in bed and binge-read thrillers — I have to admit it has felt more like a burden. 🎐
I was on a podcast recently as a guest, and we got to talking about writing. Out of all the identities I’ve ever held — founder, facilitator, and now, astrologer — I have always most identified with “writer”. From journals, to blogs, to long Facebook captions, words have always been where I sought solace, where I went to think, to heal, to feel. My first ever blog, housed on Blogspot and boasting the kind of name that only a pretentious teenager could concoct as a double-entendre — Psychobabble — went live in 2008.
I’m 29 now. 15 years. 15 years of writing on the Internet. 🏆
That deserves some sort of trophy, I think.
(My keyboard first auto-corrected that to “therapy”. ‘That too,’ I concede.)
Is it weird, then, that even after more than a decade of writing online, the kind of pieces I like best — that I wish I could write — that I wish people would pay to read — are the kind of rambling, slow, confessional diary-like posts, like this one? Where it feels like the author is sitting down with a hot beverage, and opening up a window into their mind, their life, their heart . . . and we have the immense soul privilege of taking a peek inside? 💗
That’s how I feel, writing this, tears slowly trickling down my cheeks. It is a privilege to write for you, but first, I think I need to write for me, too.
⋇ what’s been happening lately ⋇
I went on my first digital detox, and I LOVED it. It came out of nowhere — I was doing a reading forand the homework we agreed on at the end was for her to go on a 24-hour phone detox. “I’ll do it too,” I giggled. The very next day, I handed my phone over to my partner Shawn and told him to keep it from me at all costs. Immediately, it felt like the biggest weight off my shoulders. Suddenly, I could breathe again. My mind was my own; I could be present, calm, attentive — not caught up in the constant swirl of notifications and messages and dopamine hits. I ended up spending the loveliest Venus day at my friend’s new healing space, doodling on the balcony and staring out at nothing. It had been months since I’ve gone that long without stimulation, my itchy fingers always reaching for my phone, c’mon, just another hit. I realized, with a start, that I was addicted. Covid normalized it, made it a necessity — how else were we to connect with the world? — but I needed to make different choices, now. And I’ve decided to break free: because that day taught me that all the things I’ve wanted and craved — connection, presence, that elusive sense of freedom — lay on the other side of my phone addiction. ☁️
It’s been a week since, and Shawn has been confiscating my phone for hours each day. It’s like a twisted version of Treasure Hunt — he hides it somewhere in his study, so I can’t find it. It’s helping, slowly. I am gaining a richer awareness of how often I try to ask for it; how deep this addiction goes. I’ll keep y’all posted. Wish me luck, ok? 💘
I’ve been guesting on podcasts a lot, which is very Virgo-szn-lighting-up-my-3rd-house of me, and this one came out today. Safeera is an absolute ball of sunshine, and our conversation flowed like two gal-pals who were introduced by a mutual friend hitting it off and having a laugh in a coffee-house. (Oh wait, that’s exactly how Saf described it!)
In it, I open up about my journey as a creative & writer — from Psychobabble to Substack, and all the twists, turns and triumphs in-between. I talk about how much it means to me, to make money from my writing: a dream I’d harbored since I was 14 years old. And towards the end, we chat about Astrology and my “love story” with it (I made this video essay yesterday, I think, partially in response to it.)
I spoke on another podcast recently, with the inimitable Hannah McKenna. She invited me to shed light on “some Astrology basics”, which brought me back to a year ago, when I had just started Astrology school. It’s wild how fast things have changed — the shift from student to teacher. There are days when reality still hasn’t caught up with me and I find myself needing to stop myself from saying, “Thanks, but maybe you can get a real expert to chime in instead…?”
Everything has just happened so quickly, over this past year — from completing all 3 levels and graduating, to growing my following, and being considered a colleague (❗️) by astrologers I’ve followed for years and deeply respect. This Virgo New Moon is the first time it’s all really sinking in, and I find myself looking back and marveling at all the progress but also feeling very, suddenly, desperately tired. I’m learning to be okay with it all.
⋇⋆✦ ♍️ VIRGO NEW MOON RITUAL 🌚 ✦⋆⋇
The Virgo New Moon is coming up on September 14th, at 9:39PM ET (the next day for us in Australasia). It heralds the end of Mercury Retrograde, which magically started when Virgo season began. The word that comes to mind is “a fresh start”. We are uniquely equipped to set intentions, now, before Eclipse season begins.
Virgo, as an archetype, is about refinement. Its analytical prowess and attention to detail equips us with the discernment we need to make new choices — like me with the realization about my phone addiction. 🤳 We may be paying more attention to our health and bodies, now (another area Virgo rules over), or simply having a clean slate. I think it’s fascinating that it coincides with the end of some pretty significant retrogrades, which usually heralds a time of reflection and integration.
Here’s how I’ll be working with this New Moon:
✍️ I’m going to be writing a letter to myself, from my younger self.
The idea emerged from a reading I did (watch this video for the full story), and took on a life of its own. Virgo is known for being nit-picky, perfectionistic, and always wanting to get things “right” . . . but there’s nothing more humbling than looking back and seeing how far you’ve come, from the eyes of your inner child.
⋇⋆✦ Here’s how it works: ✦⋆⋇
Set your space. Light a candle. Bonus points if you can put on some music from your younger years — I’ve been listening to this Butch Walker song on repeat!
Set out all your materials: be as extra as you can. Stationery, glitter pens, color pencils, stickers, . . . GO WILD! 💖 Whatever makes your Little Me giggle :)
Time for the main event. Close your eyes, and call in your younger self. Imagine how she looks. What age is she? What is she wearing? Hand her a pen, in your mind’s eye. Tell her, “I want to hear from you. What do you want to say to me?”
Open your eyes, and let her words pour forth from your hand. ✍️ For bonus points, you can use your non-dominant hand. See what comes through!
Give this process as long as it needs. When you’re done, read the final letter out loud to yourself. Let your inner child’s words take up space. It will feel good to give voice to them — let yourself really hear them. After that, you have two options:
If there is a lot of grief on the page, feel free to tear it up or burn it. Imagine letting go of these emotions as it burns. This is an alchemical act — you are releasing your inner child, and therefore yourself, of this burden. I love you!
If there is a lot of pride and celebration on this page — I invite you to honor it! Frame it up, stick it in your bujo, make it special. 🌸
⋇ If you end up trying this challenge, comment and let me know! ⤵︎ ⋇
That’s it from me! What a whopper of a newsletter — I feel so light already. Writing has always been cathartic for me, as evidenced by my 14-year-old self. I took a trip down memory lane as I was writing this, looking through my old Psychobabble blog, and it fills me with pride and grief that my younger self went through so much alone . . . but here we are, 15 years later, connecting with hundreds of people around the world with our words, and it feels like second nature.
And then I catch myself, and remember: That’s because it is.
Till the next one,
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