the Sagittarius full moon and my mother

love is the only way to win 💘⌇ special video horoscopes at the end!

love is the only way to win

✧ ˚ my books are open for June! · ✧ ˚

It’s 10:08PM on a Saturday night and I’m all cozied up in bed, writing this love letter to you. How have you been, friends? I feel like it’s been a while since we talked, heart to heart.

🌕 Sagittarius Full Moon

The most recent Sagittarius Full Moon on Thursday broke me wide open. I am relearning the contours of my heart; how much of it I have kept closed. How much more I have to open. It is a growth edge, but a welcome one. I relish the challenge.

No one talks about this enough — the archetype of Sagittarius is always associated with faith, optimism, flying-by-the-seat-of-their-pants — but there is so much resistance that comes with embarking on something new. That split second of fear before booking the ticket. The yawning pit in your belly before the ‘yes’. I suppose that’s why Sagittarius comes before Capricorn — they both relish a sense of challenge. Just in different forms.

🤰🏻 My Mother

I have a Sagittarius moon. In many systems of astrology, the Moon is tied to your Mother — specifically, your experience of your mother.

My earliest memories of my Mother were of play. Long days in the garden, canisters of water, splashing around. PlayDoh, Barbie dolls, endless play-dates and adventures. A Sagittarian dream.

When I grew into teenage-hood, that relationship shifted to something darker. I felt suddenly, desperately, misunderstood. My mother was a single mom by that point, working hard to make ends meet, and I didn’t cut her any slack. We fought, a lot. Over time, our relationship — like a rubber band — grew taut. On my 25th birthday, it snapped. She cut me off without a word. As I muddled through the pain of that estrangement, and found my way to spirituality, I started to gain a deeper understanding of the pain I’d caused her.

me & my mom, after we reconciled in 2019

We eventually reconciled, but our relationship didn’t fully recover. There was a huge rift, right down the middle, that I couldn’t find my way around. I decided it was easier to keep her at a distance. To be polite, and decent, but not let her in. As the years went by, the barricades I built around my heart fortified.

Until this Sagittarius full moon.

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”How have things been since our last session?” my spiritual teacher asked.

I’ve started taking private coaching with her since the April eclipses. On paper these sessions are ‘coaching’, but in reality they’re like spiritual therapy on steroids. She sees all my shit and holds me accountable for them. She doesn’t hold back with me — which I deeply appreciate.

“I got this message from my mom,” I say. “It was in response to something I shared with her from our last session, about my inner child. She apologized and asked for my forgiveness. I’m still . . . sitting on it.”

“Sitting on it?” her expression grew hard, curious. “Until when?”

“I—I—” my cheeks flushed. I knew where she was heading with this.

“We’re never prepared for when our loved ones leave us,” she says. “You might think you have all the time in the world. But there is an energetic cord that ties Mother to Child.” She doodles it on a paper. “It is the most sacred bond in the world.”

“Do you believe in karma?” she asks. I nod.